One of the best ways to learn about a new country, its culture and people is to visit the country itself. Live the life of a local and see for yourself how they go about their everyday lives. For most countries, including Germany, this would involve time, money and visa. It is mostly easy to find solutions for time and money, but the visa issue proves to be the bane of most Philippine passport holder. It is almost near to impossible to get a visit or tourist visa approved.
This is perhaps one of the reasons why most Filipinas who come to migrate in Germany, especially due to marriage, experience a big culture shock. They never had the chance to test the waters, so-to-speak, before having to plunge in. It is common to read stories of loneliness, being home-sick, frustrated about learning the language. Feelings of being discriminated, being out of place --- stories of difficulty in integrating into a new life in general.
Is there a
way help us prepare for a new life in a new country if we cannot visit there
before moving?
No one can be totally prepared to live a new life, in a new place, but some factors can be helped. Most of us just focus on the visa requirements to be able to come here and forget the practical details of the actual conditions that may await us. Know the bigger picture. Life in Germany is not just about learning the language and integration courses and all that is required of us by law to be able to get a permanent residency. Prepare yourself by having some ideas about things such as the climate, the common German-traits or clichés, transportation, food, taxes, religion and political topics, etc.
Needless to say, for those coming to Germany to marry, your No.1 source of information should be your partner! Ask him/her EVERYTHING you want to know. Dig deep by asking questions. Don't be afraid or embarrased or shy. Explore as much topics as you can talk about. This also goes, without saying, about ALL other personal questions you may have for your partner.
The following ways can also help:
1. Use the internet.
The internet has an unlimited source of information that you can learn from and it is mostly for free! Read about useful information such as geography, history, infrastructure and climate statistics. Look up specific websites dedicated to specific topics you want to learn such as fashion or food. Read books written by German authors and check out German-made films.
2. Look up YouTube videos
There are a lot of official (and non-official) tourism YouTube videos that can also give you an excellent glimpse of certain places. You can also simply write the name of the town or city your husband or future life partner lives in and you may be able to find videos that showcase local sceneries of that town. Type into YouTube search, ''Life in Berlin'', and it will come up with a lot of videos about different topics; Life as a Student, 8 Things I Hate about Berlin, What it Costs to Live in Berlin, etc.
3. Use Google Map
Search the address of your future house in Google Map and you may even have a 3D view of your soon-to-be home and see the neighbour’s cat in the backyard! Google map can also give you some perspectives about the lay-out of the place. Is the place remote or is it in an urban area? Are there shopping malls, cinemas, restaurants nearby? How far is it to the nearest city? Do they have schools nearby? Can you tell that your future home is far from any nearby neighbours?
4. Use Social Media
There are Facebook groups and online forums that accept questions and conversations. Some FB groups surprisingly provide authentic insightful answers to specific questions you ask. You can learn all sorts of practical information like how to find a job, how to get your driver’s license and even on how to prevent itchy skin when the cold season comes.
As you get to know a different culture, you will learn to realize that not everyone is the same. Then you can ready yourself on how you can adapt this to your own values, beliefs and personal biases. You can develop a keen sense of self-awareness.
I have been
lucky to be given a chance to visit Germany a few times and be able to experience all its
season before moving here to marry my German. Still, it is not enough to ready
myself for all the changes that I have to go through and are still going
through.
At first it
feels like I am losing myself, losing an orientation on where to start and what
to do first. Then, I asked myself, WHY am I here? The answer fires me up time
and time again. The answer to my INNER WHY always give me the inspiration to go
on. The answer is the anchor.
I realized,
moving to Germany also gives me the opportunity to get a new perspective in
life, evaluate my interests and find out who I really want to be. There are no
old routines and no set rules. I have the opportunity to turn the page and
start writing the story from the beginning.
The
learning process won’t be a one-year thing, or not even a decade thing. Finding
yourself to be a better human being is a lifetime journey.
It is
awesome to go through that journey with the one you love.
